Lessons

Well it sure has been a while since I visited this little site of mine! Excuse me while I dust my keyboard off and remove the cobwebs from across my screen.

As I've been in this 'motherhood gig' for just over a year now, I thought it was a nice opportunity to reflect on a few lessons learnt and ones I'm still learning. These are just a few thoughts I've had swirling around my mind and I figured this was the best platform to lay it all out there. More for self-reflection than anything else, but if anyone finds these things comforting then that's wonderful!

1. HELP IS NECESSARY

And amazing. Truly, it really is. So often you hear people say "just let me know if you need anything" but our pride tells us to say "thanks, but that's ok we'll be fine". Yes, most of the time you will be fine. But when you're not fine, ask or take any help offered to you. Without my partner's help, I would be lost. Without my family's help, I wouldn't have been able to have that occasional long shower or nap I craved, or have been able to work as much as I have. And without friends (some of whom I didn't even know this time last year) I wouldn't have maintained (most of) my sanity this past year. Even if its a quick chat or occasional message, those who care about you and your wellbeing will make themselves known and be there when you need. Just make sure you let them!

2. NOTHING COMES NATURALLY

Well for me it didn't anyway. Before starting this little journey, I'd heard all too often about the overwhelming love, devotion and purpose a baby gives you. It sounded like something out of a movie where your whole life leads up to this one moment in time and then everything makes sense. Fireworks go off in the distance and glitter falls from the ceiling while a symphony orchestra starts playing. Breastfeeding is a cinch, life with a baby is a dream and this whole new level of love for your partner becomes apparent. WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's hard work. I didn't experience this instant connection because there was complications at birth so I didn't get to even hold him until the next day. Breastfeeding was really hard at first and didn't come naturally for either of us. We got there, but it took effort. Although I discovered a new love for my partner seeing him as a father, I also seemingly discovered a lot of dislikes in my exhausted, emotional state as we bickered a lot at first. Credit to him for his patience and understanding though. With all this said and done, is it worth it? Absolutely! But just try not to get swept up in this image of a perfect transition into parenthood because I don't think that ideal is possible. And remember that if you do find things harder than you imagined, it doesn't make you any less of a person or mother.

3. PRACTICE SOME SELF-LOVE

This one I'm still learning. For our whole lives, we are taught that in order to look after or save someone else, we must first take care of ourselves. Take an aeroplane emergency for instance. Or saving someone from drowning. If we forget about ourselves and devote all energy into the other person, chances are we will drown in the process. This is what it feels like in the very early months. Leading up to birth we are educated about newborn care and the concept of caring for the mother sort of goes out the window. This is really dangerous. Some days I'd find myself eating breakfast at 2:30pm or hardly drinking any water throughout the day. This was really unhealthy as it was right in the heart of Summer and I was breastfeeding full time. Any time bub was napping, I'd jump up to do wash clothes, wash dishes or do general chores. I was more concerned with the state of my house in case we had visitors (highly likely with a cute new resident living with us) or feeling the need to gain some control back in my life. Taking time to sit/eat/rest was way down the priority list. Needless to say, this left me teetering on the brink of a complete breakdown. Time to put mumma first (when you can) and let chores wait a while. It took a few months to find a hobby I could do, but I ended up taking weekly ballet classes. Even if it's just an hour of the house, it felt amazing and really helped my mood, energy levels and confidence.

4. NO JUDGEMENT

This was a big eye-opener for me as any previous parenting ideas I had, have gone completely out the window. I'm actually ashamed of the judgement I used to have for people I didn't even know. If the old me saw a parent struggling with a public toddler tantrum, I would've shook my head and questioned their parenting style. "GOSH, get your kid disciplined already, how embarrassing." Now if the new me saw that exact situation occurring, I'd feel like running over to give the mother/father a hug and whip out a kettle so we can sit down to have a cup of tea and chat (because tea solves everything, right?) Unless you've walked in someone's shoes, it's never ok to judge anyone, ever! Some people think that the second they have a baby, that automatically makes them an expert on ALL babies and parenting in general and they aren't afraid to judge what others are or aren't doing. If you have anybody like this in your life, swiftly remove yourself from that friendship circle. This type of judgement or negativity can be really toxic and leads to unnecessary insecurities. The only things a friend or fellow parent should offer you are:
help, a smile, chocolate, vodka (!), honest advice (ONLY when asked) or a high five.

5. FINDING PURPOSE

This is another one I'm still learning. Some people find purpose in their careers while others find purpose in motherhood. I feel like I need a purpose just for myself. Something that gets me out of bed each morning feeling energised and motivated. Something to work towards or grow. Something that will remain with me when my kid/s have grown up and flown the nest. And most importantly, something that I can look back on when I'm old and grey and feel really proud of myself for achieving. So what is this magical, mystical, unicorn-like 'thing' that will give me purpose in life? No clue. But I'm working on finding it.

Until next time..

Dee x

Opportunity

There was a knock at the door yesterday afternoon. I was quite taken aback since I wasn't expecting anybody; nor was I prepared for anything as I carried out my usual afternoon activities in my trackies with unbrushed and unwashed hair thrown into a top knot. Who on earth could it be? Apprehensively, I open the door to discover it was none other than 'opportunity' knocking. What a nice surprise!

Opportunity presents itself at the most unexpected times. Sometimes it offers a brand new idea to consider, one that perhaps takes some careful consideration before commiting. It may even have some risks attached to it which may further complicate the situation, yet offer an even more incredible outcome if it pays off. Alternatively, opportunity may enable you to revisit an old idea. A chance to grow from your original encounter and continue to move towards a bigger goal.

Regardless of what opportunity is bringing to your place, make sure you invite them inside for a cuppa or glass of wine, chat about your options and consider everything before answering. It's human nature to reject the unfamiliar or repel change without even thinking. Be open to new things, willing to work hard and perhaps take a risk or two. Stepping outside of your comfort zone can be daunting, but the joy of overcoming a challenge and conquering any preconceived fears is worth it.

In my case, opportunity presented a chance to work with a new company, in a role that is not necessarily my forte. As I'm currently on maternity leave, work really hadn't crossed my mind just yet so the opportunity took me completely by surprise. But with an offer to work from home in what sounds like a fun position, I'm open to the challenge and excited for what may happen from here.

So whatever the offer, try not to turn opportunity away if it comes knocking. It's true what they say - opportunity doesn't knock twice.

"If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you 

can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later." Richard Branson

Dee x

Goldie Locks

Right now I'm feeling fresh as a daisy after a long overdue hair appointment. I don't get my hair done very often, but every time I feel like a new person. It's amazing how a few foils and a nice cut can make a huge difference in not only your appearance, but your mood. I had dull, outgrown hair and therefore felt pretty dull myself. When I feel down about myself, I find it difficult finding suitable outfits each day and feel self-conscious and never quite happy with my appearance. That's when I know I need to spend some time for myself to improve my mood and self confidence. 

If you ever feel dull or self-conscious, try a little indulgent beauty treatment to lift your spirits. It could be a mani/pedi, a massage, facial, hair treatment or something as simple and inexpensive as a relaxing bath or body scrub. I promise it will have you feeling like a new person and then you can step out with confidence and a happy glow. Clothes look a million times better on someone who shines from the inside out.

Dee x

One

It sure is a nice day to begin a brand new year! I hope 2015 has been wonderful for you so far.

I've always found New Years Day to be a little strange for me. Sure I love a good public holiday during Summer just as much as the next person, but it's the new beginning that always gets me thinking.. After living 365 (or occasionally 366) days and 12 months, time hits the refresh button and we start back at 01.01 again. (I have literally had the Brian McKnight song 'Back At One' in my head all day!). We will never get the previous year back, it just goes into the history book while the memories stay with us. And the brand new year that has started brings with it a fresh slate to create new memories.

New Year is a time for reflection. Are you happy with the past year? Did you achieve what you wanted? Did you grow as a person?... So many questions that may run through your mind as you consider the past year and look towards the future. If these are the type of questions you think about as well, then I hope all answers are YES! If not, then I think this new year (like all others) brings a perfect opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes that will ensure you can look back and be dam proud of the person you are and what you may have achieved in a year.

Achievements don't need to be anything big or extravagant. You definitely don't need to purchase a jet in order to look back and think 'hey, I did good last year!'. Perhaps you achieved a new personal best in a sport you like, or made a new group of friends, or were just an overall nicer or more confident person then you had been in the past. These are all things to be proud of.

I'm really not a fan of new years resolutions. I think they put too much pressure on people and more often then not, set people up to fail. We are always told to dream big, and I'm certainly no exception to this. Are my crazy dreams going to become reality in one year? No. Everything takes time and effort. But small changes and a positive outlook on life is totally achievable. Aim to have a great year, not do great things in one year. 

So cheers to a brand new year! I sure hope it's one to remember. If anyone is looking to improve their wardrobe or gain some clothing confidence, then hopefully I can assist you on that journey.

Dee x

Monday Moodboard - Living Room

Just sneaking in a quick moodboard before midnight strikes! Although it's not exactly clothes related, I think it's important to 'dress' your home in your own personal style and accentuate features in the same way you would with your outfit. That way your surroundings will match your fabulous, stylish self!

Today my mind was firmly in living-room-land, dreaming up all the wonderful things I wanted to do in my dream living space. I found this beautiful picture thanks to my dear friend Pinterest and I instantly fell in love with it. I adore the simplicity of the space with high ceilings, white walls and an open window which fills the room with light. The simple grey fabric of the sofa and wooden details in the furniture can work with any colour theme and make styling the room a breeze. Adding a variety of cushions in different shapes, colours or patterns, as well as a big rug and beautiful flowers brings the room to life. Lastly, the colour coordinated book shelf is so my style it's ridiculous! It's exactly how my bookshelf is at the moment.. OCD much? You know my absolute favourite thing about this room, you can change the cushions or rug as often as you like which would create a completely fresh space without the expense of purchasing new furniture and everything.

Remember that interior styling isn't all that different from your personal styling... start with a solid foundations of staples, add some fun accessories and you've got yourself a great look!

Dee x

Baby Steps

Just a little reminder to always work towards something - whether it be a promotion at work, learning about a topic of interest to you, a healthier diet, a happier outlook or the confidence to rock your own personal style. Self improvement and the motivation to achieve it is so important to overall health, happiness and wellbeing.

Of course everything takes time, so be patient and trust that you are heading in the right direction. Remember that the only competition is with yourself, not with anybody else.
Aim to be the best version of yourself you can be.

Dee x

Monday Moodboard - Hats

Summertime has arrived! (Seriously, how fast has this year gone?). It's such a beautiful time of year with lots of festivities packed into one simple month. My Christmas tree is up (albeit, currently naked), mangoes are frequenting the fruit bowl, crickets are chirping at night and the sun is setting later each day. What's not to love about this season?!

My favourite Summer accessory would have to be a beautiful hat. Fedora, straw, wide-brimmed, panama, boater, trilby... I love them all. Team it with a simple dress or your fav bikini, no-fuss beach hair and a killer pair of sunnies. Not only do they look super stylish but they serve an important purpose to protect us from the sun. Functional and flattering; the perfect Summer essential.

Dee x